where is the customers yachts

A Wealth of Common Sense

10 Great Lines From ‘Where Are the Customers’ Yachts?’

Posted February 15, 2015 by Ben Carlson

Where Are the Customers’ Yachts by Fred Schwed was written almost 75 years ago. I only read this book for the first time a few months ago and it’s remarkable how well it still holds up after all these years. It’s probably the funniest investment book I’ve ever read (out of an admittedly small set of competitors).

Here are some of my favorite lines:

1. On using statistics to your advantage:  “One can’t say that figures lie. But figures as used in financial arguments, seem to have the bad habit of expressing a small part of the truth forcibly, and neglecting the other part, as do some people we know.”

2. On the value of “I don’t know”:  For one thing, customers have an unfortunate habit of asking about the financial future. Now, if you do someone the single honor of asking him a difficult question, you may be assured that you will get a detailed answer. Rarely will it be the most difficult of all answers – “I don’t know.”

3. On the cyclical nature of the markets:  “When “conditions” are good, the forward looking investor buys. But when “conditions” are good, stocks are high. Then without anyone having the courtesy to ring a bell, “conditions” get bad.”

4. On the usefulness of theories:  “All of these theories are true part of the time; none of them true all of the time. They are, therefore, dangerous, though sometimes useful.”

5. It’s a little different every time: “History does in a vague way repeat itself, but it does it slowly and ponderously, and with an infinite number of surprising variations.

6. On the emotions of losing money:  “Like all of life’s rich emotional experiences, the full flavor of losing important money cannot be conveyed by literature. You cannot convey to an inexperienced girl what it is truly like to be a wife and mother. There are certain things that cannot be adequately explained to a virgin by words or pictures.”

7. On second-level thinking: “Those classes of investments considered “best” change from period to period. The pathetic fallacy is that what are thought to be the best are in truth only the most popular – the most active, the most talked of, the most boosted, and consequently, the highest in price at that time.”

8. On leverage: “A man who borrows money to buy a common stock has no right to think of himself as a constructive social benefactor. His is just another fellow trying to be smart, or lucky, or both.”

9. On short sellers before the Great Depression:  “Before October 1929, nobody objected to short sellers except their families. The families objected to going bankrupt.”

10. On who’s to blame for poor advice:  “The burnt customer certainly prefers to believe that he has been robbed rather than that he has been a fool on the advice of fools.”

Source: Where Are the Customers’ Yachts

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A Wealth of Common Sense is a blog that focuses on wealth management, investments, financial markets and investor psychology. I manage portfolios for institutions and individuals at Ritholtz Wealth Management LLC . More about me here .  For disclosure information please see here . 

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Where Are the Customers' Yachts?: or A Good Hard Look at Wall Street

Fred schwed jr. , peter arno  ( illustrator ) , jason zweig  ( introduction ).

208 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1940

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Fred Schwed Jr.

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Where Are the Customers’ Yachts? Or, A Good Hard Look at Wall Street Hardcover – March 2, 1995

Purchase options and add-ons.

• Print length 256 pages
• Language English
• Publisher Wiley
• Publication date March 2, 1995
• Dimensions 5.79 x 0.91 x 8.86 inches
• ISBN-10 0471119792
• ISBN-13 978-0471119791
• See all details

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Editorial Reviews

From the inside flap.

This hilarious portrait of everyday Wall Street and its denizens rings as true today as it did when it was first published in 1940. Writing with a rare mixture of wry cynicism and bonhomie reminiscent of Mark Twain and H. L. Mencken, Fred Schwed, Jr., skewers everyone including himself in his brilliant send-ups of bankers, brokers, traders, investors, analysts, and hapless customers.

Critical Praise . . .

How great to have a reissue of a hilarious classic that proves the more things change the more they stay the same. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.--Michael Bloomberg, President, Bloomberg, LP

. . . one of the funniest books ever written about Wall Street.--Jane Bryant Quinn, The Washington Post

It's amazing how well Schwed's book is holding up after 55 years. About the only thing that's changed on Wall Street is that computers have replaced pencils and graph paper. Otherwise, the basics are the same. The investor's need to believe somebody is matched by the financial advisor's need to make a nice living. If one of them has to be disappointed, it's bound to be the former.--John Rothchild, Author, A Fool and His Money Financial Columnist, Time magazine

Where Are the C-C-Customers' Yachts? is a g-g-great read.--Charles Ellis, Managing Partner, Greenwich Associates

A delightful classic and reminder of excesses past and how little things change.--Bob Farrell, Senior Vice President, Merrill Lynch

Where Are the Customers' Yachts?

'Wall Street, ' reads the sinister old gag, 'is a street with a river at one end and a graveyard at the other.'

This is striking, but incomplete. It omits the kindergarten in the middle, and that's what this book is about. --Fred Schwed, Jr.

Written by Fred Schwed, Jr., a professional trader who had the good sense to get out after losing a bundle in the crash of 1929, this hilarious portrait of Wall Street and its denizens rings as true today as it did when it was first published in 1940. Writing with a rare mixture of wry cynicism and bonhomie reminiscent of Mark Twain and H. L. Mencken, Schwed skewers everyone including himself in his vivid depictions of the bankers, brokers, traders, investors, analysts, and hapless customers.

Just listen to his take on the conservative banker:

The conservative banker is an impressive specimen. In times of stress, when everybody needs money, he strives to avoid lending, but usually makes an exception to the United States government. Likewise, in prosperous times, he is a mighty liberal lender--so liberal that years later unfriendly committees ask him what he thought he was thinking about, and he is unable to remember.

. . . or his witty assessment of technical analysis:

It is the popular feeling on Wall Street that chart readers are pretty occult professionals but that somehow most of them are broke. If you have the bad taste to ask [one] how it happens that he is broke, he tells you quite ingenuously that he made the all too human error of not believing his own charts.

It's easy to see why, more than a half-century after it first appeared, Where Are the Customers' Yachts? continues to be hailed by market insiders as the funniest and most penetrating send-up of Wall Street ever penned.

From the Back Cover

"How great to have a reissue of a hilarious classic that proves the more things change the more they stay the same. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent."―Michael Bloomberg, President, Bloomberg, LP

". . . one of the funniest books ever written about Wall Street."―Jane Bryant Quinn, The Washington Post

"It's amazing how well Schwed's book is holding up after 55 years. About the only thing that's changed on Wall Street is that computers have replaced pencils and graph paper. Otherwise, the basics are the same. The investor's need to believe somebody is matched by the financial advisor's need to make a nice living. If one of them has to be disappointed, it's bound to be the former."―John Rothchild, Author, A Fool and His Money Financial Columnist, Time magazine

"Where Are the C-C-Customers' Yachts? is a g-g-great read."―Charles Ellis, Managing Partner, Greenwich Associates

"A delightful classic and reminder of excesses past and how little things change."―Bob Farrell, Senior Vice President, Merrill Lynch

"'Wall Street,' reads the sinister old gag, 'is a street with a river at one end and a graveyard at the other.'

This is striking, but incomplete. It omits the kindergarten in the middle, and that's what this book is about." ―Fred Schwed, Jr.

The conservative banker is an impressive specimen. In times of stress, when everybody needs money, he strives to avoid lending, but usually makes an exception to the United States government. Likewise, in prosperous times, he is a mighty liberal lender―so liberal that years later unfriendly committees ask him what he thought he was thinking about, and he is unable to remember.

It is the popular feeling on Wall Street that chart readers are pretty occult professionals but that somehow most of them are broke. "If you have the bad taste to ask [one] how it happens that he is broke, he tells you quite ingenuously that he made the all too human error of not believing his own charts."

About the Author

Product details.

• Publisher ‏ : ‎ Wiley; 1st edition (March 2, 1995)
• Language ‏ : ‎ English
• Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 256 pages
• ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0471119792
• ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0471119791
• Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.06 pounds
• Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.79 x 0.91 x 8.86 inches
• #9,501 in Investing (Books)
• #16,036 in Economics (Books)

About the author

Fred schwed.

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Where Are the Customers' Yachts? or A Good Hard Look at Wall Street: 32 (Wiley Investment Classics) Paperback – 22 Dec. 2005

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". . . one of the funniest books ever written about Wall Street." -- Jane Bryant Quinn, The Washington Post

"How great to have a reissue of a hilarious classic that proves the more things change the more they stay the same. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent." -- Michael Bloomberg

"It's amazing how well Schwed's book is holding up after fifty-five years. About the only thing that's changed on Wall Street is that computers have replaced pencils and graph paper. Otherwise, the basics are the same. The investor's need to believe somebody is matched by the financial advisor's need to make a nice living. If one of them has to be disappointed, it's bound to be the former." -- John Rothchild, Author, A Fool and His Money , Financial Columnist, Time magazine

Humorous and entertaining, this book exposes the folly and hypocrisy of Wall Street. The title refers to a story about a visitor to New York who admired the yachts of the bankers and brokers. Naively, he asked where all the customers' yachts were? Of course, none of the customers could afford yachts, even though they dutifully followed the advice of their bankers and brokers. Full of wise contrarian advice and offering a true look at the world of investing, in which brokers get rich while their customers go broke, this book continues to open the eyes of investors to the reality of Wall Street.

• ISBN-10 0471770892
• ISBN-13 978-0471770893
• Edition 1st
• Publisher Wiley
• Publication date 22 Dec. 2005
• Language English
• Dimensions 13.97 x 1.78 x 21.59 cm
• Print length 208 pages
• See all details

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"More than half a century on, Where Are the Customers' Yachts? Remains a fascinating read" ( Money Week , July 2006)

"... the book is a fun read and as relevant today as it ever was..." ( Investor's Chronicle , August 2015)

From the Inside Flap

". . . one of the funniest books ever written about Wall Street." —Jane Bryant Quinn, The Washington Post

"How great to have a reissue of a hilarious classic that proves the more things change the more they stay the same. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent." —Michael Bloomberg

"It's amazing how well Schwed's book is holding up after fifty-five years. About the only thing that's changed on Wall Street is that computers have replaced pencils and graph paper. Otherwise, the basics are the same. The investor's need to believe somebody is matched by the financial advisor's need to make a nice living. If one of them has to be disappointed, it's bound to be the former." —John Rothchild, Author, A Fool and His Money, Financial Columnist, Time magazine

From the Back Cover

". . . one of the funniest books ever written about Wall Street." Jane Bryant Quinn, The Washington Post

"How great to have a reissue of a hilarious classic that proves the more things change the more they stay the same. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent." Michael Bloomberg

"It's amazing how well Schwed's book is holding up after fifty-five years. About the only thing that's changed on Wall Street is that computers have replaced pencils and graph paper. Otherwise, the basics are the same. The investor's need to believe somebody is matched by the financial advisor's need to make a nice living. If one of them has to be disappointed, it's bound to be the former." John Rothchild, Author, A Fool and His Money, Financial Columnist, Time magazine

About the Author

Product details.

• Publisher ‏ : ‎ Wiley; 1st edition (22 Dec. 2005)
• Language ‏ : ‎ English
• Paperback ‏ : ‎ 208 pages
• ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0471770892
• ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0471770893
• Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 13.97 x 1.78 x 21.59 cm
• 13 in Poker
• 56 in Business Humour

About the author

Fred schwed.

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"Once I picked it up I did not put it down until I finished. . . . What Schwed has done is capture fully-in deceptively clean language-the lunacy at the heart of the investment business." -- From the... This description may be from another edition of this product.

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Where Are the Customers' Yachts?

• or A Good Hard Look at Wall Street
• By: Fred Schwed Jr. , Peter Arno
• Narrated by: Mark Moseley
• Length: 4 hrs and 2 mins
• 4.4 out of 5 stars 4.4 (135 ratings)

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From legendary investor Ray Dalio, author of the number-one New York Times best seller Principles , who has spent half a century studying global economies and markets, Principles for Dealing with the Changing World Order examines history’s most turbulent economic and political periods to reveal why the times ahead will likely be radically different from those we’ve experienced in our lifetimes - and to offer practical advice on how to navigate them well.

Ray Dalio, Chinas New Minister of Propoganda

• By Dudley on 01-04-22

Fooled by Randomness

• The Hidden Role of Chance in Life and in the Markets

By: Nassim Nicholas Taleb

• Narrated by: Sean Pratt
• Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
• Overall 4.5 out of 5 stars 5,703
• Performance 4.5 out of 5 stars 4,399
• Story 4.5 out of 5 stars 4,377

This audiobook is about luck, or more precisely, how we perceive and deal with luck in life and business. It is already a landmark work, and its title has entered our vocabulary. In its second edition, Fooled by Randomness is now a cornerstone for anyone interested in random outcomes.

Pass on this one and read The Black Swan

• By Wade T. Brooks on 06-25-12

The Education of a Value Investor

• My Transformative Quest for Wealth, Wisdom and Enlightenment

By: Guy Spier

• Narrated by: Malk Williams
• Length: 6 hrs and 28 mins
• Overall 4.5 out of 5 stars 1,963
• Performance 4.5 out of 5 stars 1,668
• Story 4.5 out of 5 stars 1,663

What happens when a young Wall Street investment banker spends a small fortune to have lunch with Warren Buffett? He becomes a real value investor. In this fascinating inside story, Guy Spier details his career from Harvard MBA to hedge fund manager. But the path was not so straightforward. Spier reveals his transformation from a Gordon Gekko wannabe, driven by greed, to a sophisticated investor who enjoys success without selling his soul to the highest bidder.

Malk Williams does a superb job.

• By Guy Spier on 11-30-14

The Snowball

• Warren Buffett and the Business of Life

By: Alice Schroeder

• Narrated by: Kirsten Potter
• Length: 36 hrs and 58 mins
• Overall 4.5 out of 5 stars 7,364
• Performance 4.5 out of 5 stars 6,217
• Story 4.5 out of 5 stars 6,198

Here is THE book recounting the life and times of one of the most respected men in the world, Warren Buffett. The legendary Omaha investor has never written a memoir, but now he has allowed one writer, Alice Schroeder, unprecedented access to explore directly with him and with those closest to him his work, opinions, struggles, triumphs, follies, and wisdom. The result is the personally revealing and complete biography of the man known everywhere as "The Oracle of Omaha."

2,220 well-invested minutes!

• By BogKid on 01-07-09

Liar's Poker

• RIsing Through the Wreckage on Wall Street

By: Michael Lewis

• Narrated by: Michael Lewis
• Length: 10 hrs and 16 mins
• Overall 4.5 out of 5 stars 1,487
• Performance 5 out of 5 stars 1,233
• Story 4.5 out of 5 stars 1,226

In 1986, before Michael Lewis became the best-selling author of The Big Short , Moneyball , and Flash Boys , he landed a job at Salomon Brothers, one of Wall Street’s premier investment firms. During the next three years, Lewis rose from callow trainee to New York- and London-based bond salesman, raking in millions for the firm and cashing in on a modern-day gold rush. Liar’s Poker is the culmination of those heady, frenzied years - a behind-the-scenes look at a unique and turbulent time in American business.

• By Anonymous User on 02-08-22

The Warren Buffett Way

• 3rd Edition

By: Robert Hagstrom

• Narrated by: Stephen Hoye
• Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
• Overall 4.5 out of 5 stars 1,466
• Performance 4.5 out of 5 stars 1,221
• Story 4.5 out of 5 stars 1,214

Warren Buffett remains one of the most sought-after and watched figures in business today. He has become a billionaire and investment sage by buying chunks of companies and holding onto them, managing them as businesses, and eventually reaping huge profits for himself and investors in Berkshire Hathaway. The first two editions of The Warren Buffett Way gave investors their first in-depth look at the innovative investment and business strategies behind the spectacular success of living legend Warren E. Buffett.

Suggest getting the print copy.

• By Kevin Martin on 10-25-15

Publisher's summary

Humorous and entertaining, this book exposes the folly and hypocrisy of Wall Street. The title refers to a story about a visitor to New York who admired the yachts of the bankers and brokers. Naively, he asked where all the customers' yachts were? Of course, none of the customers could afford yachts, even though they dutifully followed the advice of their bankers and brokers. Full of wise contrarian advice and offering a true look at the world of investing, in which brokers get rich while their customers go broke, this book continues to open the eyes of investors to the reality of Wall Street.

• Unabridged Audiobook
• Categories: Money & Finance

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• Overall 4 out of 5 stars 1,363
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Repetitious

• By KansaKilla on 07-22-15

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Still Relevant After 21 Years

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easy to understand

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everything in this program can be said in 3 points

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• By Jean on 06-03-14

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A detailed guide to overcoming the most frequently encountered psychological pitfalls of investing. Bias, emotion, and overconfidence are just three of the many behavioral traits that can lead investors to lose money or achieve lower returns. Behavioral finance, which recognizes that there is a psychological element to all investor decision-making, can help you overcome this obstacle.

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Sonho grande

• Como Jorge Paulo Lemann, Marcel Telles e Beto Sicupira revolucionaram o capitalismo brasileiro e conquistaram o mundo

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What listeners say about Where Are the Customers' Yachts?

• 4.5 out of 5 stars 4.4 out of 5.0
• 4.5 out of 5 stars 4.6 out of 5.0

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Audible.com reviews, amazon reviews.

• Overall 4 out of 5 stars
• Performance 5 out of 5 stars
• Story 4 out of 5 stars

Comedy more than anything

Was a descent book, more comedy about wall street than anything else. Still worth a listen for entertainment only

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• Overall 5 out of 5 stars

Great read after working with Private equity

most people on Wall Street aren’t any luckier or any smarter than the average person. After working with Private Equity I came to really appreciate the humor. Hit me at the right time

• Story 5 out of 5 stars

• Anonymous User

Surprisingly good!

I was blown away by how entertaining and insightful this book is, considering how long ago it was written.

entertaining and enduring

markets and investors haven't changed much over last century. concise , insightful, and funny. recommended for anyone want to get an honest and piercing take and wall street

Relevant Insights for today

Amazing to think this was written so long ago…. Demonstrates that Wall Street hasn’t changed much

• Srisai Vikash Akkineni

Keep reading and finish this book for a good laugh!

Funny, informative, and generally light on material and wisdom. This book was definitely worth a read for a couple of good laughs. And the author is not wrong. The world needs Wall Street. But nobody, not even those on Wall Street, can truly know what they are doing when it comes to investing due to psychological, social, and political forces.

1 person found this helpful

Pretty funny

Very entertaining. I did get a few laughs out of it. Great advice in a not direct way.

Laughing at myself, most enjoyably

No one, having dabbled in active securities trading for longer than a year, should put off reading this book, even a moment longer. You owe it to yourself to take a good, solid look in the mirror and explore the mirth of seeing the absurdity of it all. I still trade and will still trade and will likely make a tradition of reading this book at the end of every fiscal year.

• Overall 1 out of 5 stars
• Story 1 out of 5 stars

• James R. Eagleton Jr.

I doubt that Warren Buffett ever recommended this book

This book is not funny and it has no material of value to me whatsoever

• Overall 2 out of 5 stars
• Performance 4 out of 5 stars

• Kindle Customer

the intro was the best part

I did not like this book. First, the book is only 4 hours long. However, there are 3 introductions. this leaves the book at 3 and a half hours. Second, the prose of the main text is nothing like the story provided in the sample (which is from one of the introductions). Third, the book tells no stories. It is a wordy tongue in cheek attempt at humor describing various participants tied to the act of investing. On a positive side, the narration was good.

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